Ugandan factoids, most of which are omitted from the guidebooks with good reason.

1. To begin: a list within a list. At the time of posting, there are five epidemics raging in Uganda: the ebola virus, bubonic plague, cholera, meningitis and hepatitis. And loads of HIV and malaria and all that. At the moment, I am only worried about malaria, having been bitten alive in a malarial zone… I wouldn’t be worried had I not met a British nurse who had caught malaria four (4) times in six months whilst on the same medication as me. Currently, I'm modeling my attitude on Gloria Gaynor's.
   
2. Terence Trent D’Arby gets a lot of airtime on local radio. Woo.
   
3. ‘Putting the U in Uganda’ is the slogan of Uganda Telecom, the biggest telco in the country. I approve wholeheartedly of this kind of sloganeering.
4. Recently, the 1,020th species of Ugandan bird was spotted. Not by me, I might add.
   
5. Layout artists have a rollicking sense of humour.
   
6. Doctors who work with ebola patients get a special extra daily loading of USH30000, about AU$20.
7. If you travel to Uganda, tou’ll head a whole lot about the Monday night jams at the National Theatre in Kampala. You’ll hear less about the Thursday night Ugandan comedy nights at the same venue. There is a reason for this.
8. There are baboons in Uganda. The only reason I’m noting this is because I now have a photo of a baboon’s arse in my archives as a standard definition for unsightly. I’m not going to post it now but beware, those who seek to offend me, for I may retaliate and liken you to the red and bare nether regions of the baboon.
9. This is actually a pan-African fact, but anyway… more people get killed by hippos in Africa than any other animal. The people who get killed are those who get between either a hippo and the water or a mama hippo and her foal. An imperially minded chap told me that hippos walk at least five miles every night. I refuse to believe that creatures who rest their heads on the rumps of their friends are malign.
10. (This is for the Googlers:) Maestro and Cirrus cards work at Stanbic ATMs all over Uganda and Tanzania.
11. It was in Kampala that I discovered that the Coen brothers had adapted a Cormac McCarthy novel for the screen. I’m reading The Crossing, a lupine fetishist's delight, at the moment and the knowledge that I won’t see No Country for Old Men for months does nothing to diminish my excitement about either the film or the book. Unfortunately, this information was gleaned after I had paid money to see a Farrelly Bros film in airconditioned comfort. Yep, I'm keepin' it real real this end.