Live from KLIA

Kuala Lumpur Airport was judged the best airport in the world (15-25 million passengers per year) in 2005. I have had ample opportunity to investigate all the facilities on offer. I've been here for eight (8) hours. I only just discovered the wireless facilities.

Yep, so, transit for eight hours in KLIA. What delights do tempt the global commuter! This is apparently the world's first environmentally sound airport. I'm not sure how the reception of aviation fuel burners is factored into this great achievement. I am actually quite a partisan of the airport experience for reasons that I cannot coherently explain or defend this early in the morning. I like the limbo-ness of airports. I'm fascinated by their similarities. I like the way the same old questions arise in every airport.
Bombay Sapphire or Tanqueray? Bombay!
Do I change my signature scent? No!
What's on offer at the Made in Malaysia shop? Spicy tapioca crisps and Beryl's Durian Cookies! (Digression. Has anybody ever noticed that you can buy caskwine at Sydney Airport?)
What to do when the fair use policy for the free internet terminals is violated? Remain passive!
Is there anything decent to eat? No! Wishing to be attentive to the local cuisine, meal #1 was, of course, a Penang Laksa. A vat of oily, bland, awful laksa. Meal # 2 was a freebie, some feeble recompense for the dire delays being withstood by a generally unhappy body of passengers. Imagine the worst tuna mayonnaise baguette in existence and leave it in the sun for a few hours. Then bite into it and wonder whether to name the debacle in your hands the product of a vicious ooze or a restrained explosion.
What overpriced magazines will I buy? Vanity Fair! (June issue.) The New Yorker! (Early June issue.)
Yep. Consumption under neon lights. Riveting stuff. I must confess, my fascination with airports is somewhat diminished. I may not even stop to admire the trolleys at Heathrow tomorrow morning. I have discovered a new facet to the term 'terminally bored.' I've been trying desperately to get lost whilst wandering around in order to have something to do. I'm getting a little shrill and hysterical. This is what my webcam tells me it looks like.
Hang on. Is that a boarding call?