Vegetables I have loved

Some people get up before sunrise to take photographs of temples in exactly the right light. I’m as snap happy as any Lonely Planeteer and so, for example, I was theoretically ready enough to get up extremely early in order to catch the Schwe Dagon pagoda in Yangon at sunrise. I set my faithful alarm clock for five am but unfortunately didn’t make it there till mid-morning. It probably would have been in my long term interest to have wandered around the Schwe Dagon complex a little earlier in the day. I’m convinced that permanent retinal damage was caused by the light reflected from the huge golden central pagoda and its bejewelled umbrella, not to mention the surrounding bevy of gilded stupas. This pattern – good intentions to rise early thwarted by a certain languor and succeeded by a mild and easily palliated regret – has been repeated enough times to make it a habit. It would seem that I am able to rise early only to make transport connections and then, perversely, usually find myself rising at least half an hour too early. So it is, however, that many golden photo opportunities have been lost. When slide night eventually ticks along, the section devoted to sweeping vistas of the sun in transit will almost solely be devoted to the setting of the sun. For this, I apologise in advance.

On the upside, those looking forward to photographs of vegetables in the raw will not be disappointed. Whilst my dedication to early morning shots of Significant Monuments (better left to the professionals, I say) can legitimately be questioned, I do lay claim to a surfeit of diligence when it comes to photographing fresh produce. So much so, indeed, that I predict I will have sufficient material to allocate an entire evening to an exciting display of Fruit and Vegetables Around the World. Here’s a preview of what’s in store. If only I had a fixed return date, you could book front row seats.

Eggplants of Phnom Penh

A feast for the eyes! Would that I had been schooled in the Dutch still life painting of the seventeenth century, then could I render with radiant dignity these deserving aubergine orbs.

A Veritable Cornucopia of Healing Greens, Phnom Penh

A banquet for the soul! Forget echinacaea! Is there any ache or pain, any whinge or whine, any cough or sniffle that could not be eased by immediate recourse to such a dazzling collection? Limes! Oyster mushrooms! Coriander! Shallots! Ginger! Assorted leafy greens! Paging Dr. Love?

Cheap Mangosteens, Chiang Rai

A balm for the racing humours! An unguent for the over-salted temper! If nothing else, this photograph memorialises the fact that you can buy a kilo of my new favourite fruit, the mangosteen, for less than a dollar in Chiang Rai. Queen Victoria offered a great reward to any Britisher who could cultivate a mangosteen on the bleak isles. As far as I know, she died a disappointed woman.

Pineapple Slices of Chiang Rai

Strangers in strange lands, be ye soothèd. Solid proof that thrills which are sweet and cheap do not need to be nasty.

Barbequed Bananes de la Vientiane

Superior snacks! Forget about fried bananas and baked bananas and banana splits and banana pancakes. When short sweet bananas roll over a slow grill, their sugars caramelise and ash adheres for vim. I do declare: the barbequed banana is the new sundried banana!

Laotians and Potions, Vientiane

It is as you suspect. I took this photograph of medicinal herbs and whatnots solely for the sake of a weak pun.