Thrillseeking

Being a pedestrian in Hanoi is an extreme sport. There’s a whole lot of traffic and not a whole lot of stopping. This sign, which I photographed in a little town in Scotland, would be laughed off the street in Hanoi.
Pedestrians beware, more like it. I’m proud of being an expert jaywalker. As a non-driver, I consider jaywalking to be a kind of political statement. Crossing when the lights are red, darting out into four lanes of traffic, throwing a spanner into the works at peak hour, that’s what sticking it to the man is all about. And besides, it’s an adrenaline rush. Living on the edge, it’s where you feel most alive. Right on. Yeah right. Etc.

The stakes are raised in Hanoi. There’s no cause for pedestrians to disseminate anarchy in traffic as the roads are entirely and fabulously chaotic. There are motorbikes. There are bicycles. There are people balancing baskets of fruit and chickens and snake beans. There are four wheel drives. It’s a maelstrom out there but happily it’s a fury-free maelstrom. Where’s the road rage? I’ve been honked and tooted a couple of times but neither fists nor curses have been hurled in my direction.

Nevertheless, there are many new challenges for the jaywalker schooled on the streets of Sydney. The William St Dash, one of the moves I perfected during my apprenticeship, has no place in hardcore Hanoi, nor does the Late Night Bolt Oblivious. The Macleay St Eyeball – the establishment of stern eye contact with a lily-livered driver who will not, experience tells me, dare to run down prey glaring them in the face – does have some application but only on streets where there are relatively few vehicles. What is generally needed is a slow, meditative and detached approach. Make like a feather in the breeze and float across the road. Make like a lost sheep and bleat your way through.

Pedestrian life is challenging but there are some support structures in place. There are nominal pedestrian crossings all over the place and they are marked by a fantastic variety of signs. These seem to have a negligible impact on the movement of traffic but they do serve to raise the spirits of the pedestrian community significantly.

a) Man of the city
Bowler-hatted and upbeat.

b) Disjointed chappie on the way homeRough night, what-ho.

c) Feral childrenEvacuees from Enid Blyton-land on the lam, armed with lashings of cocoa and a tuckbox full of ginger biscuits. Jolly old Nursie.

d) Loopity loop
Here, the mind and body split is clearly illustrated. My own feeling is that the mind of the Hanoi pedestrian must reside resolutely in her body in order to keep both intact.

e) When in doubt…
…Run.

f) Dapper hatter
Cruise it.