Currant affairs

'They have both been seen as writers who will push boundaries and write about controversial and currant topics.'

Seen by whom?, I always wonder when faced with this rotten locution. And what are the latest controversies in dried fruit circles?

Has the great orange peel in fruit bread dilemma been set to rest?

Does anyone know where I can buy sub-dried plums (as opposed to Angas Park prunes) and thereby recreate the truffled prunes that I ate at the Glebe Point Diner a few weeks ago? They have played a prominent role in my dream life.

Can someone set up a committee to keep banana chips and dried pineapple out of Australian muesli bowls? It's not an unraisinable demand.

Sweet currant or sultana-laden couscous with a salty tagine: for or against?

I could go on, but other great questions of our time are being hacked apart in the pages before me. I have nought but a red pen and a deadline with which to contend with it all.